Deciding to remarry your ex-spouse can be a tricky situation and a difficult decision to make, especially if you had an ugly divorce a few years back or said something that might have hurt them.
Coming back to the question, ‘should you remarry your ex or not,’ no one else but you can answer this question and answer it honestly. Honesty is the key word here; make sure that your ex-spouse is indeed the right person to spend rest of your life with.
For the simple reason you were married to this person and then you got divorced and now let’s assume after some years you realize (after flitting in and out of meaningless relationships) that he or she is the only one you ever loved. However, experts like marriage counselors the world over, suggest that you ask certain questions of yourself before you leap into matrimony with your ex-spouse once again.
Questions like: What were the things that brought you closer the first time and then again what things drove you apart from each other? In all these years that you have been away from each other, what has changed in your life and in their life for you to contemplate that this time it will be for keeps:
According to the marriage counselors, people can end up making the same mistake twice and then again go on rectifying it. Hence, it is very important that you answer these questions and also go for pre-marital counseling with your ex-spouse for a better second chance. If he or she is the right person, then you will not regret it and even if they are not, counselors will guide you with your strengths and weaknesses, thus making your future relations fruitful.
Marriage is a life commitment and you have already broken this commitment with your ex once, hence the second time you have to make sure the same mistakes are not repeated. Break-ups are never easy or pleasant and especially not after the second time. We are not talking about celebrities, we are talking about common people with real emotions and feelings.
So relax, sit down, and on a piece of paper write down all the things that drove you apart from each other. Was it your immaturity? Marriage is a serious commitment and one which requires lots of patience and responsibility.
Sometimes it so happens that young people fall in love and marry in haste only to regret it later. So you have to be the best possible judge of your decision to remarry your ex. Whatever else was the reason last time that drove you apart from each other, remember that this time the most important reason should be love and companionship between you two to keep you together. That’s what you would need in your old age – love and companionship.
Written by Swati.Nitin.Gupta
